The Course of Love
by Deineira
Summary: As said in the words of the great William Shakespeare, "The course of love never did run smooth." Leah/Sam/Emily. GUYS, I AM BACK, AND I'M READY TO UPDATE!
1. Author's Note

**The Course of Love**

_"The course of true love never did run smooth." - _William Shakespeare, _A Midsummer Night's Dream_

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**Table of Contents**

_1 - Author's Note_

_2 - Preface_

_3 - ?, The Flickering Flames_

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_You wouldn't be reading these words without the fabulous **Anele**Tiger and her even-more-fabulous story, "The Newtonian Laws of Gravitation," in which she paints, in stunning, beautiful colors, several radiant pictures of romance through imprinting. My favorite is "The Actor and the Spectator," which features Jared and Kim._

_That story made me wonder about the other werewolves, especially Sam. It took me two whole minutes to switch to Microsoft Word, and about half a minute after that to open up the Twilight Lexicon character bios and drink in as much information as possible about our dear pack leader, Sam Uley._

_That day, I wrote maybe five or six pages. The next, I wrote an equal amount. I'm supposed to be doing JulNoWriMo and editing/rewriting one of my own novels in preparation for publication, and instead, I've been completely absorbed in writing about the characters from someone else's books. And thus Jewel in your Crown was born._

_But it was fun. I hope you enjoy my work!_

_Deineira_

_P.S. Remember, this work is not my best: I write better with characters of my own._

_P.P.S. This story might end up being an anthology of ways that "the course of love never did run true," or it might be just one story, divided into three parts. You never know._

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A.N. - Okay, now that I've paid my dues to _Anele_Tiger, it's time for me to explain the story a little.

**Leah Clearwater has half-idolized Sam Uley for years. One day, during class, he looks at her, and it changes everything. **

**That day, he asks her to be his girlfriend, and she agrees. That day, she is noticed at last. **

**In this story, I plan on at least finishing up with Leah, carrying her all the way from meeting Sam _(The Flickering Flames, _formerly known as _Jewel in your Crown),_ to his meeting Emily _(?)_, to Leah's becoming a werewolf _(?)_. I have a few things planned with Jacob, too. This will likely end up a series of stories about the werewolves of La Push, the Cullens, maybe the Denali clan, and of course, the innocent little humans of Forks. **

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	2. Preface

**_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Sam and Leah are not figments of my own imagination. No, they belong to a woman named Stephenie Meyer. _**

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**Preface**

Sam Uley was the most wonderful, beautiful, perfect creature Leah Clearwater had met in her entire life. His eyes were chocolate brown, sparkling with intelligence that made them glitter like diamonds. His skin was russet, smooth as that of a baby, and his hair, black as raven's wing, hung down almost to his shoulders whenever he released it from the ponytail he always wore. And then there was his voice, of course, that deep, beautiful voice, so wonderful. It was melodious and smooth, silky, impossibly perfect. Every word he spoke was like a song, each sentence a sonata.

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**_A.N. - Yes, I know that was short; I'm sorry, but that was merely the preface. The first chapter is longer. _**

**_Thanks, Deineira_**


	3. The Flickering Flames 1

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, all characters featured in this chapter belong to S. Meyer, and not to me, and, also unfortunately, I am not S. Meyer_._**

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**Chapter 1  
The Flickering Flames**

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I sped down the hall, going as fast as I possibly could. As usual, I'd missed the bus. Instead of chasing after it frantically, I preferred to just sprint straight to school and rush through the halls. I was almost to my homeroom. I cranked my legs into high gear, moving impossibly faster than before. I saw something flash out in front of me, and I stumbled over it, falling. It was someone's leg. I stood, brushing myself off.

"I – I'm so, _so, _sorry," I assured them. "It was a total, complete accident, r-really."

"S-sure," mimicked my victim. I would know that voice anywhere. It was Paul. I shook my head in exasperation and resumed my race down the hall. Paul just continued staring at me angrily, half giving me the evil eye.

I smashed into homeroom, panting. I raced into my desk, just as the teacher called, "Leah Clearwater."

"Here," I responded happily. Next to me, Em rolled those jet-black eyes of hers. I watched the teacher slowly shaking her head as she made a quick check mark next to my name.

"Jared Thail?" she continued.

"Here," answered a voice near the back of the room.

"Emma Stanton?" asked the teacher.

"Present," my friend answered gracefully. The teacher continued with the remainder of the roll call, going in no particular order.

"Close call, today," Em commented as we left the classroom. "You barely made it."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I'll do better.

"That's right, you _better _do better," Em ordered me. I shook my head, taken over by a bad case of the giggles. I followed her as she led the way to our next class.

As she walked, I watched her long, black hair swaying prettily with her motion. It was smooth and silky and hung halfway down her back. I touched my own hair, hanging just above my shoulders. Again, I shook my head, continuing down the hallway in the shadow of perfection.

I sat next to Em in almost all of my daily classes, save Chemistry. In Chemistry, I was happily placed next to the god of beauty, Sam Uley himself.

Sam Uley was perfection if I've ever seen it, more beautiful than Em and every other girl I knew. He was kind and funny, though he never spoke much, and every time he laughed at something I said, it gave me happy chills.

Last year, when I'd finally discovered the undying love I possessed for Sam, I had no choice but to admit it to Em. She'd laughed a little at first ("Why would you like _Sam, _of all people?"), but finally she gave up the joke. That's Em: she's always supported me, through thick and thin. She and I both knew that I was practically invisible, to both Sam and everyone else in this world, but she put up with my childish hopes nonetheless.

I heard a voice in the back of my brain, some insistent person trying to force its way, like a spike, into my brain. It was melodious and beautiful, and I knew in an instant who it was.

"Answer the question," he hissed. "Go on, answer it: it's easy, really, you know it." Quite obviously, it was Sam.

I almost floated into heaven (after all, he was actually _talking _to me), but instead, I paid attention to the angry teacher glaring at me from the front of the class.

"Leah, please answer the question," the teacher begged. I felt soft hands touching my own, and I grinned.

"Okay," I said confidently, glancing down. Sam's warm, smooth fingers enveloped my own for a few seconds. When he let go, a messily folded up piece of paper was resting in my open hand. I opened it quickly and read over the words it bore. "Is it… H2O plus O3?" I wondered.

"Yes, Leah," the teacher said. "Excellent job, though it would be quite nice if you'd remember to answer my question the first time."

I sighed happily, throwing a grateful look at Sam. His eyes met mine and they flashed, before opening just a fraction wider. I looked away for a second, then stage-whispered, "Thanks."

"Y-you're welcome, L-leah," he stuttered awkwardly. For the respect of his dignity, I looked away and smiled at Em as she sat at her desk across the room.

In a rare moment, I directed my entire brain to the lecture that the teacher was giving. I didn't want to embarrass Sam any further.

"Leah," he whispered anxiously. "Leah, can we talk?"

"After class," I insisted. He shrugged and nodded.

The rest of the class period went by in a blur. I was waiting, waiting for him to talk to me. He grabbed my hand after the class ended and led me to a secluded corner, away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the school.

"Leah," he began, "I'm sorry. That I never noticed before. You know I've never had a girlfriend?" I nodded. "Well, that's just because I've never found someone who was even remotely… right… for me. But now I have, Leah."

I could feel my face fall. "Really? Who is she?"

"_You_, Leah. I've found _you,_" he answered. He took my other hand. "Leah, please, tell me you'll put up with me for a little while. I... Leah, I looked into your eyes, and it was like… like everything else was gone, and you were here, with me, and we were… together. And I was happy, Leah… and I loved you. Wanted you, needed you. Leah, the feeling has dimmed… but I still want you to be happy. I'm sorry, Leah, that I… forgot you. Leah, please forgive me?"

I was surprised by the sudden turn our relationship had taken. "Um… sure."

His smile was wide enough to fill his entire face. "Great. Awesome." He followed me as I walked back to the lockers, holding my hand the entire way. He held it up to his lips and kissed it before heading off to get his books.I felt a smile nearly as big as his spreading across my face as I walked to PE.

All through PE, I was remembering the feel of his smooth lips on my skin. As the coach yelled at me, there was a dreamy smile on my face, and I was hit right on the noggin several times during dodgeball because I wasn't paying attention. I saw Sam watching me, looking puzzled.

I was extremely grateful when PE ended and I could move on to my next class. Sam had stared at me the entire time as I embarrassed myself continuously. I felt awful. Was Sam just being so nice because he _pitied _me? I leaned against the wall outside Biology and waited patiently. Sam passed me eventually and I snagged his shirt with my finger. I pulled him closer to me.

"What is wrong with you?" I hissed. "Did you only pretend to like me out of _pity?_" I spat the words into his beautiful face.

"What? Of course not, Leah, I want to be friends because I would very much like to be friends. Is that so wrong?" I shrugged but did not give up my thought. No matter what he said, I would never forget what had happened.

"Fine," I conceded. "If you say so."

He thanked me for believing him, kissed my hand again, and walked off. I gazed after him, face red and hand tingling.

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_**A.N. - So… that's the first chapter in my tale of Leah and Sam. How did you like it? Tell me! I'm a real author and I won't kill you if you don't like it. This chapter was a bit hard for me, and I'm sorry if it was a little rough. The next chapter (it's stored on my computer, waiting for me to submit it) is also rather difficult, but it was easier to write. **_

_**Anyone who writes a review gets free pie!**_

_**Thanks, Deineira**_

**_Also, I know that this was a pretty short chapter; sorry, again. The next one is longer, and I think I'll be releasing it today, maybe along with the first chapter of _Born in Shadows!**


	4. The Flickering Flames 2

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Disclaimer: As unfortunately as always, these characters are not mine.

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**  
Chapter 2  
The Flickering Flames**

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I was sprawled out on the couch, struggling to relax. My day was almost over. In my heart of hearts, though, I was still hoping to see Sam again. I remembered the look in his sparkling eyes as he'd stared at me in the little alcove before gym. I sighed.

The door opened with no warning and Em walked in. She caught my sigh and asked, "New boy?"

"Em," I scolded. "He's much more than a boy."

"Who is it this time?" she questioned wearily while sitting down on the arm of the sofa.

"Sam Uley," I squealed, throwing myself at her. She caught and steadied me.

"Calm, Leah," she ordered. My face fell. I'd been hoping for a more enthusiastic reaction. "Now, tell me the whole story."

In reverent tones, I spun the tale of my perfect day, beginning with the note Sam had passed me and ending with the kiss he'd planted on my hand.

"I have to admit, I'm surprised," she admitted when I finished. "I never thought you two would get together."

"I know!" I replied happily. "I'm so excited!" But my gleeful tone turned worried as I continued, "Em, I'm not really sure if he really likes me or if he's just pretending to – out of pity, you know, because I'm such a… well, a _nobody_."

"Of course he likes you," Em assured me. Standing with a loud yawn, she said, "I'm going to go get a soda. Do you want anything?"

"I'll have a Coke," I told her, stretching out my tired limbs on the couch. I buried my head in a pillow and proceeded to muse about the rather strange occurrences of my awesome day.

The doorbell rang, scaring the wits out of me. "Hello?" I called as I struggled to get up and off the sofa.

"It's Sam," a deep, beautiful voice said. I leapt up, empowered by the sound of his words, and opened the door.

"Hi," I said quietly.

He grinned crookedly in response. "Hi." I stood in silence for a moment, gaping at his perfect face. His teeth contrasted brightly against his tanned skin, glistening in the half-light. "Um… may I come in?" he asked after putting up with five minutes of my quiet staring.

"Oh, yeah, sure, I'm sorry," I blubbered.

"It's okay, Leah, really," he answered. "It's fine." He sat down awkwardly on the old, tattered couch, holding something in his arms. I focused in on it until I finally realized what it was.

It was a bouquet of flowers. Roses, mixed with lilies and irises and all my favorite flowers. I sat down beside him. "For you," he said, handing me the bouquet.

"Thank you, Sam," I said, kissing him quickly on the cheek.

Em chose that perfect moment to come in with her sodas and a bag of chips.

"Oh, hello, Sam," she said, stepping toward me and handing me my Coke. Her words sounded slightly disdainful, but out of politeness she continued, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thanks," he declined politely, never looking away from my face.

"Right." Her tone was now slightly flustered, but no more approving than before. "Leah, I – I'll go now, I think. See you tomorrow, Leah, Sam."

"Bye, Em," I said.

"Bye, Stanton," Sam called as she made her way to the door. She opened it, ready to exit, juggling her soda and chips. She was paying so much attention to what was in her hands that she forgot the large step from the door to the porch. She tripped over her own feet and fell to the ground. I stood and walked toward her.

"I'm fine," she said as she untangled herself. Even as disheveled as she was after her fall, she was still beautiful. "Really, it's okay." If looks could kill, she would be _long _dead. Catching the daggers I was shooting from my eyes, she continued, "Well, Leah, I'll see you at school." She stood, dusting off her clothes, and half sprinted away. She hadn't even acknowledged Sam's farewell.

"Finally," I sighed, closing the door and plopping down on the couch next to Sam.

"Alone at last," he agreed, putting his arm around me. "Leah," he said, looking into my black eyes with the glittering brown ones that belong to him and shifting slightly so that he was facing me.He put his hand on my thigh, just above my knee. "Leah, I really wish that I'd met you earlier; it's my fault, really. But, here's the thing. I've never done this before, so I don't know the exact etiquette of asking someone out, or what I'm supposed to say, or if I'm asking too soon. I can't tell you what brought this on, because I don't even know. I'll try to explain as best as I can." He paused, licking his lips and thinking for a moment. "In class today, something happened. Something changed, shifted. I don't know why, and I don't know how, Leah, but I want you to be mine, and I… I want to be yours. Please, Leah, don't think I'm a player or so-"

"Sam," I interrupted him softly. I cleared my throat, voice getting stronger. "Sam, I understand. It's okay. I want to be yours too."

"Really?" he asked, sounding surprised. At my nod, he continued. "Amazing. You'll go out with me?"

"Sam, I have been waiting eons to hear you say that sentence," I informed him. "Of course, yes, a million times yes!"

Another huge grin spread on his face. "Leah," he breathed, moving his hand from my knee to my side. He pulled me closer to him and pressed his mouth to mine. His warm lips molded gently against mine, and I drank in his wonderful scent of pine trees and forested glens. I hugged myself even closer and put my arms around his neck. His hand began to trace my spine and I suddenly remembered that only today had Sam Uley really noticed me, and three hours later, we were here, making out on the couch. As much as I wished I didn't have to, I broke away violently, putting as much space between us as possible.

"Samuel Uley!" I screeched angrily. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Kissing you," he replied, reaching for me again.

"Oh no you don't," I retorted, even more furious than before. My voice had a hysterical tinge to it.

"Why?" he asked, looking confused.

"Sam, here's the thing," I began. "I like you…a lot. But, Sam, you didn't really know I existed until today. Why are you kissing me?"

"Because, Leah, I'm so happy," he explained, "to finally have found you. I've been looking for what seems like _years, _and now you're here, right beside me."

"Sam, no matter _how _much I care about you, I will not kiss you today," I told him angrily. "And Sam – I think you'd better go. My brother will be home in a few minutes, and if he catches you here, he'll never let me live it down."

"Fine, Leah," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed my hand, as was custom, and headed out the door.

I sat there on the couch for a few minutes, stunned. _I had kissed Sam Uley. _I let out a huge sigh and automatically started tracing the hand he had kissed with my fingertips. Snapping out of my reverie, I raced upstairs to my room and pulled out a piece of paper. I doodled millions of little hearts with the name _Mrs. Leah Uley _in each. I didn't know why I was doing it, but I kept going anyway.

"Leah!" Seth's angry voice cried, pounding on my door. "Leah!"

I opened it tiredly. "What?" I asked.

"Just wanted to let you know that some of my friends are going to be coming over in a few minutes," he said.

"Which friends?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Sam, Jared, and Paul," he replied.

"Aren't they, like, two or three years older than you?" I interrogated.

"Yes," he admitted. "But they're really nice, and I like them a lot." I shrugged. If Sam was coming back again, and so quickly, too, I didn't much care about the reasoning behind it.

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. I opened it to see Paul and Jared staring at me, befuddled. I wondered what was afoot. "Come on in," I said. "I'll be right back down. Just hang out for a little."

I went upstairs to see what the matter was with my face. Nothing seemed wrong to me, so I just yelled for my brother and headed back down.

When I arrived, Jared, and Paul were still staring at me. Sam stood behind them and to the left. He was also staring, but his stare wasn't confused. His was loving. "What _is _it?" I asked as his eyes caressed my face.

Jared was the first to come out of his trance. "We're wondering what made Sam suddenly take interest in you."

"Yeah," said Paul, eyes dancing over my body. "You're nothing special."

"Shut up," warned Sam, cuffing Paul's ear.

"Did you just hit me?" Paul questioned, already furious.

"That I did," Sam clarified.

"Well, it is on _now – _" Paul started to say.

I shook my head disappointedly. "Children," I mouthed to Jared. He nodded.

Paul slapped Sam's cheek and was moving to punch him in the jaw when Jared stepped in. He dragged the two apart. "Calm, guys, calm," he ordered. "You're arguing about your opinions of Sam's girlfriend."

I almost objected, but I saw the look Sam gave me. He was warning me to agree, and begging me, too, at the same time.

"Sorry, Leah," Paul said reluctantly. I nodded, accepting his apology, however forced it might be.

"It's okay, Paul," I told him. I heard loud, clomping footsteps on the stair as Seth came down to join us.

"Hey Paul, Sam, Jared. What's up?" asked my thirteen-year-old brother's bright voice.

Three voices loudly called, "Hey, Seth!"

He waved back at them. "Hey guys, my mom gave me permission to go to a movie with you – if you want to tonight…"

"Okay," said Paul.

"Sure," Jared agreed.

"I can't," Sam declined. "You guys go without me."

"Okay," said Paul.

"Sure," Jared agreed.

"See you later, then, Sam," Jared said. He, Paul, and Seth exited the room, leaving me alone, once again, with Sam. We stood awkwardly in the entry, staring each other down.

"I'm sorry I kissed you, Leah," Sam said. "I didn't know how you felt. I just knew that I wanted you… that I loved you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Sam," I told him. "I understand. I want you, too. It's just… I was a little surprised… about how quickly you moved from apologizing to kissing, and then back to apologizing. It's fine, really."

"Leah," Sam breathed again, leaning towards me. For a second I thought that he was going to try to kiss me again, and I flinched away. "No, Leah, no, I'm not going to kiss you again unless you want me to. I was just… Leah, you are _so _patient with me."

"I have to be, Sam," I said. "Years of waiting have to pay off somehow." I kissed him lightly on the cheek, and he sighed once more. He reached out, clearly wanting to turn this into something more than just a quick kiss on the cheek, but checked his movement a few inches from my shoulder. He seemed to radiate pain and indecision.

"Please?" he asked.

"Yes," I told him, and he moved his mouth to rest on mine again. He pulled me closer to him, and once again, I smelled his delectable scent of pine trees and green forests. He wrapped an arm around my waist and put the other in my hair, caressing my head with his hand. Somehow, he pulled me even closer, and I put my arms around his torso, for want of a better place.

This kiss was easier, more leisurely, less harried, and this time, I wasn't afraid that he was just using me. I knew he cared, and loved me, in his way, but it was still awkward kissing him after being virtually invisible earlier that same day.

I put any qualms behind me as the kiss continued. I wanted to push him off again, but it would only hurt his feelings any more. I couldn't do that to him, my Sam.

We were still making out passionately when the front door opened.

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_**A.N. - Well, tell me what you think! I'm waiting here! Free pie for anyone who reviews!**_

_**Also, this chapter has gone through about six rounds of editing, just for a little background. In the original version, Em was a whimsical character who went into the kitchen to make herself some nachos and, in a very "sophisticated" way, proceeded to make a fool of herself. I decided that conflicted with her image in the previous chapter, and changed that to make her look a little less idiotic.**_

_**So, as you can see, Leah and Sam just shared their first kiss! **_

_**You know, writing this story is really hard; Sam and Leah are in love, but yet all the while, you know that eventually, Sam will end up leaving her for Emily... so it's hard to think about it. You know? In almost all of the books, Leah is portrayed as some sort of... bad guy, but when you really get inside her head... dumped for her second-cousin! That must be painful!**_

_**I don't think I could end this story if I tried. I have the next six chapters stored on my computer, and they were very hard to write. It made me very sad, penning those words...**_

_**Well, anyway, I released the next chapter today, too, so you can just click the little link and keep going! Yippee!**_

_**Thanks for reading,**_

_**Deineira**_


	5. The Flickering Flames 3

**Disclaimer thingymabobber: This isn't mine, blah blah blah, it's Stephenie's, yada yada yada...**

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**Chapter 3  
The Flickering Flames**

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"Leah Elizabeth Marie Clearwater, what do you think you are doing?" my mother cried.

I broke away from Sam with a start. I must have jumped back at least five feet. I hurried to put as much distance between us as I could. The look on Sam's face was one of half-anger and half-embarrassment.

"Hello, Mrs. Clearwater," Sam said. "I – I'm Sam Uley."

Ignoring him completely, my mom said, "Leah, come in here this instant," and led me into the kitchen. When we were inside the safety of a closed door, she whispered, "Leah, what were you doing and why?"

"Mom, I don't think you've realized this yet, but I'm _fifteen. _Sam is my boyfriend, and I was kissing him. It's as simple as that," I informed her.

"Yes, but – in the _entry! _What if Seth had caught you?" she cried hysterically, voice skipping up an octave.

"Seth's watching a movie with Paul and Jared," I reminded her.

"So _what? _Leah, I'm not sure about this guy. He's… different. I know you must really like him, but still… this is a little… off the beaten track for you." Her tone was worried and affectionate, but I, like all teenagers, was a victim of hormones, and my natural get-angry-at-the-littlest-things gene kicked in, leaving me in a fury. Instead of saying something and provoking my mother's anger, too, I just shook my head and stalked off.

I flew back into the living room, where Sam sat on the couch, head in his hands. "I've really done it now, haven't I?" he muttered, voice muffled. "You probably hate me – I went too far again, didn't I – and your mother must hate me, too. I'm sorry, Leah. I've brought only trouble. It's my fault, I know, and I'd better be getting home, anyway."

"Sam, it is _not _your fault, and it's cool, seriously. Go home if you want – you don't have to," I said.

"I – will your mom let me stay?" he asked.

"Yes, she will," I told him, even we both knew that I was probably lying.

"Cool," he said, sitting down on the couch he'd only left a few minutes before. "What do you want to do?" he asked, pulling me down with him.

"We could watch a movie," I suggested.

"Okay," he agreed. I freed myself from his grasp and moved to find a movie. Wanting to find something acceptable, I finally picked _Pride and Prejudice_.

I sat down again and he pulled me closer to him in a tight half-hug. The movie began and I watched as, scene after scene, the tale began.

"This movie was always one of my favorites," he murmured, putting his lips close to my ear.

"Mine too," I replied. I knew exactly what would result if I turned my head toward his. Fighting all the desires and hormones in my body, I kept my head staring evenly forward at the screen.

Eventually, the movie ended, and Sam decided that he needed to leave. I sighed reluctantly. "Fine," I conceded reluctantly.

"Leah," he sighed wearily, pecking me on the hand before exiting the door quickly.

My mom chose that moment to stomp back into the room. "Leah Clearwater, when did you and this _boy _start dating?"

"We haven't yet," I confessed reluctantly.

"Then why were you kissing him?" she demanded.

"Because I love him, Mom," I explained, "and he loves me. Mom, I've loved him for two years, and we're _together _now. Please, Mom, just let it go."

"I can't, little missy. You need to learn a lesson from this," she said. She paused for a few moments before adding, "You're grounded for a week, and if I catch you kissing again, it'll be four."

"Yes, Mom," I conceded. "If you say so." I returned to my room and glanced at the time. It was eleven-o'clock! Seth still wasn't home yet… I walked to the bathroom and got ready for bed, then returned to my room and pulled out my well-used copy of _Pride and Prejudice._

That night, I dreamed of hearts. I was swimming in a sea of pink hearts under a sun the same shape as the hearts in which I swam. The clouds were fluffy, pale pink, and the sky was a shade just darker than that. Each one of the hearts that surrounded me said upon it, _Mrs. Leah Uley. _They all had small, white, cherubic wings, and only a few managed to float up above the ocean. I sighed, drinking in the scent of pine trees.

I treaded water there, in the middle of the sea, for what seemed like hours. Eventually, my legs grew sore and I could no longer stay above water. The sky darkened to a hideous burgundy-red, and the sun turned piercing crimson. The clouds became black as night, as did the hearts in the sea. Each one was stabbed through with a blood-red arrow, and as each heart was punctured, a large fissure opened up in the center and reddish slime dripped out, coating my arms and legs within seconds. The fissure became jaws, biting at me angrily, and their wings turned to leathery, dark appendages, like those of bats. The text on some of them became _Mrs. E. Uley _and others were soon _Just Leah. _I felt a scream rising up inside of me, and a disgusting taste, like vomit, filled my mouth.

I woke up with a jolt, coated in a thick layer of sweat. My hair was kinked and knotted, and my fingers were tightly clenched. I was breathing quickly, and I let out a deep sigh in a vain effort to calm myself. _Mrs. E. Uley, _I thought coldly. _Emma Uley. Em. _

I stood slowly and looked at myself in the mirror that hung near my bed. My hair was tangled about my shoulders, and my eyes were wild and filled with fear, fear like an icky phlegm that had squeezed itself into every inch of my disgusted body. Fear, like an icy chill that ran through me every now and then.

In yet another pointless effort to calm myself, I started to wonder what I was afraid about. _Em, _my mind replied automatically. _She can't marry Sam. She hates Sam. She despises him. Doesn't she?_

Filled with wave after wave of angst and confusion, I forced myself to go into the bathroom instead of wasting away in front of the mirror. Bile rose in the back of my throat as I pictured Sam and Em kissing each other. Nausea made its way into my pores, and I opened the toilet warily and sat down on the floor, knowing that I would likely throw up.

I did. I hurled for hours, pausing for a few minutes, standing up and heading for the door, then feeling the sensation begin once more. I glanced at the clock frequently, praying that Sam wasn't missing me at school.

I left the bathroom at three-o'clock, all barfed out, and went into the kitchen. I was fetching myself a glass of water when my mother entered the scene.

"What are you doing here, Leah? Shouldn't you be at _school_?" she barked.

"Yes, Mom, but I had a nightmare, and I was sweating and I felt so hot. I went in to the bathroom at seven, and I haven't left since," I told her.

"You expect me to believe that you were in the bathroom for eight hours? I bet that you and that _boyfriend _of yours were skipping school to see each other. I'm right, aren't I?" she asked.

"No, Mom, you're very wrong. You can call the school and ask if Sam was at school today; we both know what the answer will be," I suggested.

She nodded, picking up the telephone. She quickly dialed the school's number. "Hello, this is Sue Clearwater speaking. I have a question about the attendance of one of your students." She paused as the other person said something. "Yes, I'd like to know if Samuel Uley – he's a freshman – was present today." I saw the shock spreading over her face as she received the answer. She put the phone back on the receiver loudly and said, "Well, Leah, you were telling the truth." Her voice sounded surprised and extremely startled, as if she thought that teenagers could never tell the truth.

"Mom," I inserted, "you know that I never skip school, no matter how much I hate it."

"I know, honey," she agreed. "I'm just worried about this boy. What if he's just using you?"

"He's not," I assured her.

She looked doubtful. "Okay, fine," she said dubiously, just humoring me for the sake of my sanity. "Now, where _has _your father gotten to?"

Right on cue, my dad walked through the door. "Afternoon, Sue," he said dismissively, hanging his fishing jacket and lucky hat on the wall and leaning his fishing pole against it.

"Where have you _been, _Harry?" my mother demanded.

My father leaned over to place his tackle box on the ground. "I was fishing with Charlie," he answered.

"Charlie Swan?" my mother interrogated. My dad nodded. "Fishing will be the death of you, Harry," she continued warningly. "You'll fall in the rez someday."

"Not going to happen," he said, tone dismissive once more. My mother sighed and turned away.

This was just the average exchange in my household. My parents had once been lovers, completely obsessed with one another, but now they were distant and uncaring, for the most part. I didn't know what had happened, and I most certainly didn't know _why, _but something had come between them.

My father came up to me in a rare display of affection. "Hey, Leah, honey. How was your day?"

"It was good, Dad. Did you catch anything big?" I said, knowing what he really wanted to get into.

"Yes," he admitted. "24-inch catfish."

"Nice," I sighed and returned to my bedroom. The phone gave a loud ring, and I picked it up before it had even ceased its screech.

"Leah?" asked a beautiful voice.

"Sam?" I countered, startled.

"Yeah, it's me. So, why weren't you at school today?" He sounded oddly possessive, yet at the same time scared and guilty. Did he believe that somehow, he was the reason I hadn't gone to school?

"I had a – a bad dream, a fever dream, I think, and I got really nauseous afterwards. I missed you, Sam, but I was in the bathroom, throwing up, for almost eight hours," I pleaded.

"Fine," he conceded. "Here, Leah – do you mind if I come visit you?"

"No," I answered, surprised. "Come on over."

"Thanks," he said, and without further ado, hung up the phone.

I put my telephone down on the dresser and opened my closet door, searching desperately for something to wear among the few choices I had. I finally selected a simple pair of blue jeans and an even simpler black tank top.

The doorbell rang soon after I changed, and I raced down to get it. I opened it up with a breathy whisper, "Sam?"

"Yes, Leah, it's me," he replied, pulling me outside and carefully slamming the door behind me. His lips met mine for a few short seconds, but we parted quickly, knowing that if we got caught, I would never be able to see him again.

"Sam," I said, thought penetrating my every word, "why did you notice me all of a sudden the other day?"

"I don't know, Leah," he laughed. "I wish I did." He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.

I opened the door again and cheerfully pulled him into my house. We resumed the previous day's pose on the couch.

"No movie, tonight," I informed him. "It's Thursday, a school night, and I have some homework that I need to catch up on."

"We could do our homework together," he suggested. "I haven't done mine, either."

"Okay," I agreed reluctantly.

We spent most of the night laughing, talking, and working on our homework. Any remaining doubts from the day before were swiftly washed away by the sheer plainness of Sam's love.

That night, I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling of my bedroom. I let out a huge, happy sigh and turned over, joy overcoming me. I could feel the tears of glee invading the corners of my eyes, and I wiped them away with one hand, laughing for no reason at all. Giddily, I drifted once more into the dark realms of sleep.

That night I slept dreamlessly. I woke up at six and rose, half-floating into the bathroom and then going downstairs to make breakfast. I got ready for school quickly and found myself in a rare position of having to wait for my mom to get ready to leave.

As I walked into the halls at school, my own personal torture, I felt like all eyes were focused on me. The sounds of the world were muffled, half-silent, unimportant, however, and I wasn't paying attention. No, I was scanning the school with my eyes, looking for someone far superior to them all.

Finally, I locked in on him. He was standing with Paul and Jared, not saying a word. He was craning his neck over their heads, looking for someone. I walked up quickly, not caring that I would be interrupting their conversation. As I approached, Sam came out halfway to meet me and took me into his arms instantly, holding me close. "Morning, Leah," he whispered before kissing the top of my hair. I could practically feel the disapproving glances of Jared and Paul boring into Sam's back.

He released me after a few short instants, then took my hand and escorted me back to my locker, where Em was standing impatiently, tapping her foot on the floor. Sam saw my friend waiting for me, and instead of staying with me as I gathered my books, he returned to Paul and Jared.

"Yes, Em?" I asked.

"Well?" she inquired, that one word loaded with meaning.

"I can't kiss and tell, Em," I said, blushing.

"So you did kiss," she commented.

"Yes," I admitted, my face somehow deepening in color.

"Well, congratulations, Leah," she told me after a few seconds of loaded silence. "You've just gotten the first boyfriend you actually care about." Chuckling slightly, she walked away, leaving me to ponder her words alone.

* * *

_**A.N. - Yet another installment in the tale of Leah Clearwater and Sam Uley! So, how do you like it so far? Tell me! Give me a review, if you please!Well, I'm shooting for three chapters today - why wouldn't I? - so I'm going to go edit chapter four. It will be released as soon as possible. Reviews might help to speed up my writing process. :)**_

_**Oh, and by the way - yes, I did change the title of my little Leah Clearwater-sub story to "The Flickering Flames," from "Jewel in your Crown." Tell me what you think!**_

_**Thanks for reading,**_

_**Deineira**_

* * *


	6. The Flickering Flames 4

****

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

**Chapter 4  
****The Flickering Flames**

* * *

The next day began in almost unbearable normalcy. I didn't share classes with Sam until Chemistry, which was all-too-far away.

I confronted him on the way to one of the few classes I shared with him. "Morning, Sam!" I said happily, kissing him on the cheek. Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand in his and, after lightly touching his lips to it, pulled me to Chemistry class.

Today, he scooted his chair as close to me as it would allow, and he held my hand the whole class period under the table. The hour passed by in a dream, the teacher droning on about some formula while Sam and I stared deeply into each other's eyes.

Chemistry class ended, and reluctantly, we moved on to PE. Sam made sure that he was on my team for dodgeball, then spent the entire class period protecting me from the projectiles that flew at me from all sides. As class ended, he put an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. In that manner, we walked back to our gym lockers, separated briefly to change, and came back together.

I waited through the rest of the day impatiently. When it was finally over, Sam called me over to him. He was standing by a car – could it really be his?

"Yes, Sam?" I inquired.

"Leah," he began. "Um… do you want a ride home?"

"Sure, Sam, but are you allowed to drive?" I wondered.

"I've got my permit," he said.

"Just don't kill me," I joked. He laughed, but the smile that spread across his face didn't quite reach his eyes. He took my hand and pulled me into the black-leather-upholstered passenger's seat. He closed my door and made his way around to the other side, hopped into the driver's seat, and started the engine.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him cautiously. He nodded slightly, his eyes glinting. He backed out of the parking lot easily and drove carefully to his own home.

"Where are you taking me?" I cried. He just shook his head, took out the keys, and opened his door. He opened mine for me and escorted me out of the car and up to the door.

"Welcome to the Uley residence," he told me, a half-smile on his face. He opened the door and held it open for me, then followed me inside.

I glanced around me, marveling. Their house was very rustic, it was true: hunting trophies hung over the hearth, a red-brick floor, a large deerskin area rug. It was very wide and open, with a huge living room and three or four hallways branching out to the left and right. Behind the living room was a set of French doors that led out to one of the most wonderful views in perhaps the entire town. I was thoroughly sure that at night, the view of the sunset from there would be to die for.

"Wow, Sam," I breathed. "This is amazing."

He just grinned more and grabbed my hand, leading me down one of the halls. He took me into a spacious bedroom. Deep burgundy satin hung from the walls, and the floor of black hardwood was almost completely covered by a wide rug. His bed was blanketed in midnight-black sheets, and there were lights mounted on each wall. He had three bookshelves, filled with books, and cabinets beneath them, presumably filled with more books. A classic bow-and-arrow hung on one wall, made of sleek, light brown wood with intricate designs carved into it. I could just barely make out the words _Samuel Uley. _Sam pulled the cloth on one of the walls apart, revealing a floor-to-ceiling window. Light streamed in, illuminating the painting of a flickering campfire on the east wall.

"Voila," he said, spreading his hands wide.

"It's wonderful," I murmured earnestly.

"Thank you, Leah," he replied, equally earnest. "I'd love to see yours."

I thought of showing Sam my shabby little corner of the household and cringed. "Uh… I'm not sure about how soon that' s going to happen, Sam… you see, I'm kind of… grounded, right now."

"Oh." His face fell. "Because of me?" I nodded silently. "I should take you home, shouldn't I?"

"I think so," I whispered, flinching. "I really want to stay. Your house is so _amazing_." I took one last glance at his beautiful bedroom, fixing my eyes on the lovely painting of the campfire. The flames reached up, brilliant slashes of orange on an otherwise dark canvas. Sparks flew from the top of the fire. It was lit up by streaks of sunshine, and I was still staring at it, entranced, when Sam pulled the cloth back across the window and told me it was time to go.

The whole way home, Sam and I spoke no more than perhaps three or four words. He helped me out of the car then hesitated for a moment, licking his lips nervously. "Leah?" he asked. "Would you… when you're not grounded, I mean… would you like to go to a movie or dinner or something?"

"Of course, Sam," I answered fondly. "Why would I not?"

"I don't know, Leah," he replied. "I don't know." He walked with me to the door of my house and kissed me on the hand. He must have decided that wasn't good enough, because a glint flashed through his eyes and then his warm lips were resting on my cheek, feather-light. Within a matter of instants, they were gone, and so was he.

* * *

_**A.N. – I know that this chapter is much shorter than the others. I'm sorry about that, really. This chapter was actually harder for me to write than the other three, though I don't know why. I think it was the sheer **_**normalcy **_**of it. The next chapters will be much more interesting, do not fear. **_

_**Another big factor of this chapter's length was the time deficit. I'm splitting my time between this and a soon-to-be-released story about Alice's life before becoming a vampire, called **_**Born in Shadows._ That makes it a little hard to focus on this, even as wrapped up in the little details of Leah's life as I am. _Born in Shadows _should be out today or tomorrow.  
_**_**  
Thanks for reading (free pie for each review),**_

_**Deineira**_

_**P.S. I haven't even given away a whole pie yet (though I owe four pieces to Anele and one to little old me). **_

_**P.P.S. Anele, what's your favorite kind of pie? **_

**_P.P.P.S. I will probably be updating again later today._**


	7. The Flickering Flames 5

**Disclaimer: So it's not mine. Whatever.**

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**Chapter 5  
The Flickering Flames**

* * *

The next morning I rose early, ready to face the day, ready to see Sam again. I dressed quickly, as usual, and settled down at my kitchen table with a somewhat battered copy of _Wuthering Heights. _I read through it briskly, pausing now and again as I reached my favorite lines, the overdramatic, half-mad lines in which Heathcliff and Cathy declared the addicted, obsessive love they had for each other.

I glanced up at the clock as I turned through the last few pages. I realized with a start that I would be late for school, were I to wait here any longer. I shut the book and sprinted out the door.

There I was again, chasing after the school bus, running just as fast as I had only a week and a half ago, on the day that Sam and I had really hit it off. As I raced to the extremely small La Push High, I compared the Leah of ten days ago to the Leah of today. The Leah of today was calm, confident, easygoing, with just a twinge of arrogance added into the mix and maybe a pinch of hubris, plus the dash of overcritical, judgmental thought processes that ran in my family. But most importantly, the Leah of today was _loved. _Yesterday's Leah was a little spasmodic, but today's was the epitome of what my soul was like inside. Today's was _me… _and it was all thanks to Sam.

I arrived at school and went through the same routine I'd experienced on the day I always thought of as Sam and my anniversary. I raced into class later than I had then, however, and Em had to poorly cover for me by dropping her pencil and books on the ground several times before calling, "Here!" I threw her a grateful glance as I settled into my desk.

The day went by quickly, as usual. Ever since I'd become Sam's "girlfriend," I hadn't been paying as much attention to school. My world was centered entirely around Sam.

He was driving me home again, and was en route to my house when he spontaneously changed direction. He pulled me out of the car elegantly and into a none-too-shabby restaurant. It wasn't fancy – thank goodness, I was only in a T-shirt and jeans – but it wasn't fast food, either.

"Sam…" I murmured. "You didn't have to –"

"Leah," he replied, "you deserve it. You are the most wonderful person I've ever known, Leah, and I don't deserve you. I need to give back for it somehow, and this is my little way of thanking you."

"Sam, thank _you,_" I countered, "for being so unbearably perfect." I kissed him then, square on the lips, in the middle of the sidewalk. Blood rushed to his tan cheeks.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered. He put his muscled arms around me and enveloped me in a warm bear hug. He snatched my hand and guided me into the little diner.

That night was the best night of my life. We talked, we laughed, we joked around, and that night reminded me of one of the reasons I loved him so much. He was happy, but he was still serious.

He escorted me back to my house and I was forced to sneak into my bedroom through the window. Luckily, my corner of the household was on the first floor.

Somehow, I managed to not get caught. Several hours later, I opened up my window to look out at the dark night. I saw someone standing there, below my window.

I was scared, at first, until they casually swung a leg over the windowsill and made themselves at home in my room. That was when I realized that it was Sam.

"Sam?" I hissed. "Do you _realize _what will happen if you get caught?'

"Yes," he answered. "I've already thought about that."

"And?" I inquired, anger saturating my tones.

"I won't get caught," he shrugged. I let out a frustrated sigh, but I didn't have time for much more because he quickly wrapped his arms around me and pressed his mouth to mine. The kiss was long and leisurely; I could feel his love radiating from every movement of his body as he clutched me to him.

I broke the kiss first, leaping back onto my bed. Thankfully, the hinges didn't groan too loudly.

Within a second, Sam was on the bed with me. He grabbed me in his arms and held me close, just content to breathe in the scent of my hair. We rested in silence for quite some time, until he finally whispered, voice filled with awe, "Leah?"

"Yes?" I replied quietly.

"Leah – I… Leah, I think…. I think I love you," he admitted grudgingly, having trouble voicing the words that had been apparent in the looks he gave me for the past few days.

"I know, Sam," I told him. He let out a huge sigh of relief, and the brief quiet that followed was loaded with anticipation. "I love you, too." He pulled me closer and once again connected my lips to his own.

He held me lovingly, carefully, clutching me as near to him as he could. I realized, in that instant, just being there in Sam's arms, that Sam was more than a boyfriend, much more. He _loved _me, and I loved him. In the space of a week and a half, my life had turned into some crazy romance story.

We broke apart reluctantly and I pointed out how quickly our relationship had progressed. Sam replied with a loving kiss to the top of my head and a comment of, "I know, Leah. Sometimes, though, the best things in life happen in the blink of an eye. And you, Leah, were one of them."

I laughed softly, not wanting to awaken my parents where they slept in a room close to mine. "So, Sam," I began hesitantly. "What – do you – why… you really love me?" I stumbled over my words, and, embarrassed, I felt myself blushing beet red.

"Yes, Leah," he said. "I know it's impossible, but Leah, I really… I don't want you, Leah." This last comment was made with such open frankness and honesty that I almost flinched backward and hurled myself out the window. He paused to suck in a long breath and I waited worriedly to hear what he had to say next. "Leah, I don't want you," he repeated. "I _need _you."

I relaxed instantly, and he must have felt my muscles unclenching as that brief pang of fear passed. "I understand, Sam," I replied. As I spoke the words, I knew them to be true. "I need you, too. My life is empty without you. A mere second when you're not there is worthless; but I would trade a thousand years for every instant that you are. I love you."

"I love you, too, Leah, honey," Sam countered, kissing my cheek. "I ought to go now."

"Don't leave," I begged. He didn't need much persuasion. He sat down in a shabby chair near my bed while I speedily turned it down. I hopped in quickly, still wearing my clothes, and enveloped myself in the warm, comforting blankets. I settled in and rolled around a few times, getting comfortable.

"So, Leah," Sam half-whispered, "tell me about what your life was like before… you know."

"Well," I answered carefully, "it was okay, I suppose, rather boring. Day in and day out, the same thing, you know? But then… you were here, and you asked me to be your girlfriend… and I said yes, and here I am, a week and a half later, in your arms…"

"And I in yours," he reminded me. "That was just how it was for me… I was alone, with Jared and Paul as my only true friends. But, Leah, they don't matter anymore… all that matters is you." I sighed and turned out the light.

"Sam?" I asked.

"Yes, dearest?" he inquired.

"I love you," I sighed and drifted off into the silent realms of sleep.


	8. The Flickering Flames 6

**Disclaimer: This doesn't belong to me. No one except little sarcastic Emma Stanton.**

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**Chapter 6  
****The Flickering Flames**

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Days and weeks and months passed quickly. Nearly six months later, Sam and I were still going strong. I still remembered the conversations we'd had at the very beginning of our relationship. Since, we'd gone to movies, dinner, classic dates like that. Once, he'd taken me to the fanciest restaurant in town. Sam was the best boyfriend anyone could ever have, and I knew it.

I arrived at school one day in April with a faint and unexplained sense of foreboding intermixed with my glee. My muscles were tense when I woke up in the morning, and they were still tense when I went to school an hour later.

As I reached my locker, I let out a loud sigh.

"Leah?" Em asked, sounding very worried.

"Yes, Em?" I said.

"What's wrong?" she inquired.

"Oh, nothing," I replied dismissively, turning away from her.

"Leah," she countered firmly, grabbing my arm high up near the shoulder and wrenching me around to face her. "You have been my friend for as long as I can remember, and I have been yours, through thick and thin. Now tell me, _what's wrong?_"

"Nothing," I insisted, equally firm. She let out an exasperated breath and turned to her own locker, grabbed her books, and slammed it loudly before stalking off angrily. I nearly called after her but instead shook my head and snatched my schoolbooks.

Once again, I completely zoned out during nearly all my classes, especially Chemistry. It was extremely hard to focus with _Sam, _beautiful, perfect, Sam, sitting next to me.

Sam drove me home just as he had been doing for the past few golden months. Today, however, he was weirdly silent. He kissed my hand outside the door and instead of following me in, he simply left. Troubled, I walked into my house and sat down on the couch. I dialed Sam's cell number quickly. I waited patiently for it to roll into voicemail; I had never expected that he would answer.

"Hey, Sam, it's Leah. I was just wondering about something… call me, please?" I half-whispered into the recorder. My voice was growing hoarse with worry. I knew that something was wrong, but I didn't know what, and I didn't know why.

Sam had never been this distant before. Even if something was going on with him, he was still bright, brilliant, beautiful as ever. This indifference was strange and puzzling to me, and I wanted to know what was wrong.

Sam didn't call me back for two days, and he didn't come to school, either. On the third day, when he finally called me, his voice was husky and anxious. "Leah, will you please come over to my house?" he pleaded. I agreed instantly.

When I got there, he was sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands. "This is awful," he said. "Come on a walk with me, please."

I followed him reluctantly as he led the way outside, to the forest that was practically his backyard. Shadowed by the trees, he began to say the words that would change me forever. "Leah, I can't… something strange is going on, and I don't know what. Leah, stuff is happening, and I don't know what. Bad things are occurring..."

"What impact does this have on _me_?" I wanted to ask. Instead, I politely kept my silence, giving Sam a chance to say his words.

"Leah, I love you," he told me abruptly. "But I don't know… I'm not sure what is up, and I don't know that I like it…" He took me farther into the trees. "No matter what happens, Leah, always remember that I love you."

He reached out for me and pulled me close, kissing me with such intensity and passion that I was a little bit scared. This kiss had an edge to it… almost as if he knew that this would be our last. When we parted, I was panting almost as badly as I did after running a six-minute-mile. He stared deep into my eyes, still holding my hand.

"Leah, I _want _you. Forever. I need you to be mine. Leah, if this works out, please… will you marry me?" I nearly laughed out loud, but then I saw that his beautiful eyes were one hundred percent serious.

"Sam-" I started to say before breaking off with a chuckle. "Sam, I'm _fourteen._"

"And I'm fifteen," he pointed out, shrugging indifferently. "Leah, I'm not asking for you to marry me now, or even any time soon. I'm just asking you to promise me that you will, someday, and if you won't, then tell me why. I love you, Leah, and I thought that you loved me, too."

"I do," I pledged. "And someday, Sam, I will marry you." He pulled me into his arms again in a big bear hug. I drank in his wonderful scent and thanked God that I had such a wonderful man.

* * *

_**A.N. – I wrote this chapter, chapter six, before chapter five. This was originally chapter five, actually, but I read over it the second time and it just didn't feel right. I can't just skip six months without even having the little lovebirds go on a **_**date **_**first! Talk about lack of closure!**_

_**Writing this chapter made me really, really sad. I didn't want to have to do this, to Leah most of all. It's torture for me. I was really I could write a few more uplifting, happy chapters before I put her through this fiasco. What do you think – should I cancel out this chapter and go back to flowers and butterflies, or should I continue with the tragic tale as Leah's life gradually spins out of control? **_

_**Oh, and I just wanted to say that if I update **_**BoS (Born in Shadows) **_**any time soon, which is rather unlikely, you can blame it all on Bennet and Aiedail. That is all.**_

_**Also, I know that this chapter is the shortest I've written so far. It's just… it was so hard to write, knowing what Sam will do to Leah later on…**_

_**Thanks,**_

_**Deineira**_

_**P.S. What some people don't understand about short chapters like this is that, well, sometimes you stumble upon such a beautiful, perfect ending for the chapter that you know you just can't go on. This was one of those times.**_

_**P.P.S. This is the third chapter today – two CoL and one BiS. New record!**_


	9. The Flickering Flames 7

**Disclaimer: Oops! Forgot the disclaimer yesterday! Sorry. Not mine.**

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**Chapter 7  
****The Flickering Flames**

* * *

I returned home that night unsurely. I knew exactly what my mother would have done, were she in my situation. She would have said no and probably run away, screaming inside her head. _Marry Sam! _I thought. I could picture the reaction she would have when I told her… if I told her.

Sam guided me up to my bedroom. I was in a slight daze, still, so he had to sit me down in the chair and let me take it all in for a few minutes. He stared worriedly into my dark eyes, and I looked back at his face. In an instant, I knew that my choice was right. I wanted to spend all eternity with this man; a single lifetime couldn't possibly be enough.

The days passed by quickly after that, so fast that I barely noticed their coming and going. No one – except Em – was told that Sam was my fiancée, though I was sure that it must have showed in our gleaming, happy faces. We were most definitely in love.

I could tell every day when Sam came home with me from school that my mother was getting more and more worried. As apparent as our love was in our faces was her deep anger at Sam and her cautious care for me. She was worried that Sam would hurt me somehow.

For two weeks, Sam was almost, normal. He acted like he was happy, but somehow, his smiles never quite reached his eyes. I could tell that something was wrong, but I still didn't know what. He was still my loving, beautiful Sam, but something was different.

One day, he'd picked me up from school and taken me to the beach. He'd kissed me there, the breakers crashing behind us and the blue waves rolling. The seagulls chirped above us, and as he pulled me to him, I felt purely at peace, more so than I had ever felt in my entire life. Every little worry – every tiny little care that I had picked up over the years – was gone, and I was completely and utterly happy. Nothing was disturbing me, and I was content to just be there in Sam's arms.

I remembered the words that he'd said to me just the day before: "No matter what happens, Leah, always remember that I love you." It was almost as if he knew that something would be coming between us, and soon. That thought scared me… it made me worry about what new twists and turns our relationship would be taking. One thing I didn't know, however, was how soon my life would spiral out of control.

It was early May. One morning, I came home from school. Sam hadn't been at school that day or the day before. I knew that if he could've come, he would've… which meant that he was sick or something was going terribly awry.

I dialed his number quickly on my cell phone. He didn't answer. "Mom," I yelled, "do you know what's going on with Sam?"

Her feet clomped loudly down the stairs. "You mean you don't?" she exclaimed. "Darling, he left."

"Left where?" I asked, not quite getting her drift.

"The city. He ran away sometime last night, apparently. No one's seen him since. They think he got eaten by a bear – they spotted a big, black beast near his house yesterday," she explained

"Sam _left_?" I was incredulous.

"Yes," my mother laughed. I could feel the delight radiating off her skin.

"Uuuuuughh!" I cried, running to my room. I buried my face in pillow and let the tears stream down over my face. Sam had been the light of my life, the most important thing I had. Now he was just…gone? Gut-wrenching sobs took control of me, and my heart was ripped in two for the first, but not the last, time.

I cried for what seemed like years. Finally, I overcame my tears and wiped them off with the back of my hand. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was messy and tangled, and my eyes were red and puffy. Tears streaked my brown skin.

I sprawled out on the bed again, struggling to keep from helplessly sobbing. I pulled the blankets off my bed sharply and got in, shivering. I pulled the comforter over me to keep the cold of abandonment at bay.

As I slept, I dreamed. I was once more floating in a sea of hearts, brilliant pink hearts that, as I watched, turned black and rotted, ripped in two. They reached for me, and this time, I did not resist…

I was floating downward, and I could not breathe. Yet, somehow, I was content, for as I was dying, I could see him clearly, with his beautiful black hair, perfect voice, bronze skin. I could vividly remember the sensation of kissing him, of being kissed _by _him, my Sam.

I awoke at last from the nightmarish figment of my imagination, but the dream did not leave me. I was still drowning, drowning in a sea of broken hearts.

And I would never resurface.

* * *

_**A.N. Don't complain. I know this is the shortest chapter yet, but I just had to throw in a kind of half-cliffy for you guys. Don't worry, I'll be releasing the next chapter later today. You see, I've not been able to write much today – I am taking an advanced Latin class at school (over the summer, I know, I'm a nerd… **__**:**__**) and today was the last day. My Latin teacher is leaving this year, moving to Virginia, so this was my last chance to learn something from him. **_

_**Well, thanks for putting up with my erratic schedule!  
Deineira**_

_**P.S. I know this was a kind of cheap cliffy, but I have something in mind for the next chapter. **_

**_P.P.S. I know this chapter is short, and I might not be releasing another one today, because the next one is like three pages already and I'm not yet halfway done. Which means that the next one will be really long, my apology for all the short ones._**


	10. The Flickering Flames 8

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Disclaimer: The last time I took a look at my birth certificate, it did _not _say Stephenie Meyer on it.

* * *

**Chapter 8  
The Flickering Flames**

* * *

MAY.

JUNE.

JULY.

AUGUST.

SEPTEMBER.

OCTOBER.

* * *

_Six months passed. My life became monotonous, unimportant… I struggled to forget Sam, to stop drowning, but I could never resurface completely. The littlest things would remind me of him and send me back into the void – sodas, the beach, the cute restaurant we'd eaten at that first night… all of it brought back unwanted memories that just sent me spiraling back into emptiness._

_My social life ceased to exist. At first, Em called me a lot, but I never once called her back, and eventually, she stopped calling. My grades plummeted, then settled themselves higher than average. School was the only thing I could focus on without being reminded of him._ _All that mattered was Sam, beautiful, perfect Sam, Sam who had shattered the earth beneath my feet, Sam who had shoved silver daggers into my heart, Sam who had loved me… Sam. _

_He hadn't come back since that day in mid-May. I was beginning to accept the fact that he was gone forever. He must have found someone else, I thought. After all, I'd known that it might happen one day. As much as I hated to admit it, I just wasn't good enough for him. He was too perfect. _

_On October 13__th__ – one year after Sam and I first met – I heard my mother speaking on the telephone. "I'm worried about her," she said. "I've put up with it for six months. She's been doing absolutely nothing ever since that _boy _left. I think he hurt her, somehow. Tell me what to do." Her voice was angry and demanding, filled with worry._

_That was the day I decided to wake up. _

* * *

Waking up would be hard, I knew. I had distanced my one true friend and now I was all alone, in this mangled, mutilated world of mine. Sam had left me with a heart ripped in two, and now it was my task to sew myself up again.

I went to school the next day, October 14th, to notice that nobody even glanced sideways at me. When I sat down in Calculus and Chemistry, I was all but invisible. Em didn't even look my way.

I walked up to her in the hall. "Em?" I said. She just kept on going. "Em," I repeated. She didn't even bother turning her head. "EM!"

"What?" she snapped, whipping around to face me.

"Em," I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"That's nice," she retorted, twirling around and continuing to stalk down the hallway.

"Emma Stanton!" I cried. Once again, I found myself completely ignored.

She stopped at her locker and took out her books, loudly slamming the locker door.

"Em!" I screamed, grabbing her shoulder.

"Leah Clearwater, please _stop _speaking to me," she angrily replied.

"But-" I began.

"Don't even _talk _to me, Leah, I _don't _want to hear it. I don't… I don't _care, _Leah, if your boyfriend broke up with you or whatever. We were always friends. Every little time you stabbed me with some new dagger, I gave it up. But this time, Leah, you've given me a fatal wound." With those furious words, Em opened the door to her next class and, after entering, slammed it into my awestruck face.

What could I have done to warrant such fury? Surely whatever it was hadn't been _that _awful, awful enough to destroy our friendship forever? I wanted to drop to the floor and put my head in my hands. My relationship with Sam had destroyed what I had had with Emily. I opened the door and sat down at my desk and absorbed myself in thoughts of my bad fortune as the teacher droned on and on.

That next day, I failed a paper for the first time since Sam had left. I brought it home from school and my mom nearly cheered in happiness. I didn't even turn my head to look at her. I was too absorbed in my new despair.

Finally, I broke down. I was reduced to tears as I lay on the shabby couch where Sam had first kissed me. I was tired of being torn in two, tired of being no one, and most importantly, tired of _myself. _Every little thing I had done since Sam had left had annoyed me to death. Earlier that day, in Calculus, I'd heard the whisperings of the girl who was Em's new best friend, Alexis, about how I was on drugs. What hurt even more was Em's reply: "Yeah, Lexi, she must be. I mean, no one freaks out like that when their man leaves – right?" So much for loyalty. If Em had been a good friend, she would have been there for me, even when I hadn't been there for her.

Through my tears, I let out a huge sigh. I had no choice – I had to do something. Halfheartedly, I grabbed the telephone and dialed the phone number of a childhood friend. He and I had been nearly inseparable when we were little. Since, we'd come far apart, and was younger than me by more than a year… but his was the voice I needed to hear.

"Hello, Mr. Black, may I please speak to Jacob?" I begged. I could hear the tears that were caught in my throat.

"May I tell him who's calling?" was his polite reply.

"Leah," I told her.

"I'm sorry?" he returned blankly.

"Leah," I answered, "Leah Clearwater!" The tears began to well up behind my eyes.

"Jacob! Phone!" he screeched. "Leah Clearwater!"

"Hello?" Jacob's voice questioned.

"Oh, Jacob," I sighed, the tears flowing freely now. "I don't know what to do… I feel like I could die… Sam's gone, and Em hates me, and she thinks I'm on drugs, and help me, Jacob…"

"Leah," he soothingly said. "Calm down. Meet me down at the beach." I barely heard the soft click as the line went dead. My wailing was too loud for any sounds to be made out. I was in despair once more.

Tears fell from my eyes like raindrops as I grabbed a jacket and walked out the door. I walked slowly down to the beach and found Jacob already there, sitting on a bone-white piece of old driftwood.

He took in my appearance with shock. "Leah, what happened?" he gasped in awe. I giggled maniacally. I hadn't glanced at a mirror since Sam had left, which was probably not the best of ideas.

The day after his departure, I had sawed off all of the long, midnight-black hair that he had kissed and complemented for so many days. With the knife I had used for that, I had foolishly made several cuts: one shallow, thin one over my heart, two long cuts near my cheekbones, cuts that swirled around my arms and legs that had scarred into silvery-white lines that looked like tattoos, and shallow nicks near the great veins on each of my wrists. Not on them, but close by. I could see how my appearance was rather terrifying – I looked crazy, I knew, probably one of the reasons Em thought I was a druggie.

"Leah… you cut yourself?" was his second question.

"Second day after he left, yes," I informed him.

"Why?" he whispered.

"I had to get him out of my soul, out of my being. And the pain – Jacob, the pain was just unbearable, like fire, spreading through my veins and arteries, through every fiber of my being… it got worse with each passing hour, each minute that ticked away. I had to do something… that was just my solution, my cure," I replied. A strange look passed through his eyes.

"Leah, your heart is broken, damaged. I know you've tried to fix it, to patch it up again, but you didn't go about it the right way," he told me. "You need to find a better method."

"Like what?" I inquired testily.

"Well, you should start with a kiss," he said after thinking for a few moments. He leaned in toward me, eyes closed, drinking in the cool night air. I moved toward him, but as his lips made their way to mine, I backed off.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I don't care if this is your cure, and I don't even really care if you're just using me. But your cure, whatever it is, isn't the one for me. I _need _pain, Jacob, because it's all I have. I would love you, Jacob – I'm pretty sure that I could – but my heart has been ripped to shreds, and I… I don't think there's enough of it left to love anyone." Those words set my mind on fire, and I was turning to walk away when he grabbed my arm.

"That's fine, Leah," he agreed. "Just… I have an idea."

"What?"

"Cliff diving."

* * *

_**A.N. That's a "cliffy" if I ever saw one, lol! Sorry that this is, putting aside all puns, kind of a cliffy, though, anyway.**_

_**Okay, first things first – sorry about the infrequent updates. I didn't have any chance at all to write, which is saying something, because, in general, if I don't have time, I make it. I'm going to try to quickly release as many chapters as possible, meaning that the next few days are going to be a complete frenzy for both BiS and CoL. I don't think I've done anything on BiS for several days, nearly a week. I'll get to that soon…**_

_**Even though I know it is completely irrelevant, I need to thank my reviewers here. All of you are great. Bennet, you rock for your reviews of BiS. Anele, you are so awesome for your opinions of CoL. I love all of you! All you guys who have me on your alert, you are so amazing! You guys are great and you all deserve a great big bear hug. I mean, wolf hug. **_

_**Hugs,**_

_**Deineira**_


	11. The Flickering Flames 9

****

Disclaimer: If this story was mine... why would I be calling it a fanfiction?

* * *

**Chapter 9  
The Flickering Flames**

* * *

Jacob guided me up a winding pathway to a large cliff. It continued up and up for many feet beyond where we paused. "This," he explained to me, "is where the smart people stop walking. Are you a smart person, Leah?"

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"Do you want to be a fool and jump from impossible heights, possibly killing yourself, or will you be a wise person and take your leap here?" he questioned, a cocky grin presenting itself on his face.

"Quitters never win," I retorted.

"And winners never quit," he finished, chuckling. "But those who never win _and _never quit are idiots." I laughed openly at his new spin on the old saying.

"Then I guess I'm an idiot," I murmured. He smiled even wider and took my hand, leading me up farther. He guided me carefully out onto the cliff face.

"All you have to do is jump," he told me. I was overcome with fear so powerful that I nearly turned back, but reminding myself of the pain that would confront me if I left, I steeled myself and stepped off the rock face.

I felt a sudden rush as the ground disappeared beneath me, as I flew quickly through the empty air. I heard a loud whoop of joy as Jacob joined me, flying all those many feet above the ground. We spiraled down to the water and hit it with a loud splash before emerging, laughing.

The sensation was amazing – I felt so free and happy, like I owned the whole world. I wasn't cured, that was for sure… but I was better.

I felt a happy grin spread on my face as I swam strongly to the shore. I saw Jacob behind me wearing a similar expression. A pang of sorrow stabbed through my heart. The grin faded and I turned my back on him, walking away with no particular destination in mind.

A few minutes later, I found myself at a house that was familiar even though I couldn't have visited it more than once or twice.

Sam's.

The familiar, rustic building, full of happy memories… why had I brought myself here? Another arrow of despair found its mark on my heart. I sunk to the floor, tears prickling in my eyes. I heard loud, quick footsteps behind me.

Jacob's voice called out, "Leah!"

"Go away," I cried, a sob ripping out of me. I heard a worried sigh and retreating steps.

I sat there on Sam's doorstep for some time, bawling my little heart out. It seemed like I was there forever, tears pouring from my dark eyes.

Eons later, I heard the soft click of a door opening. Two loud footsteps sounded, then someone was holding me in their arms. The sobs continued as I shook in fear and pain.

"Leah," a beautiful, soft voice whispered. "Leah, it's all right."

"Sam?" I gasped, feeling my heart tearing up into even smaller pieces.

"It's all right," he repeated, not answering my question. "It's okay, honey. I'm here."

"Sam," I said again. It was not a question.

He stood and I with him, relieved to just be in his arms, not caring about why he was here or even how. No anger penetrated my bones, no fear at all. All I wanted was to be with him.

He lifted me and somehow managed to open the door simultaneously. He slammed it behind us as he brought me once more into his home.

He carried me over to a couch similar to the one in my house, the one where we'd shared our first kiss… the one where he had looked at me with those beautiful eyes and smiled his heartbreaking smile…

He set me on it easily. I leaned into him, wanting a kiss or at least a touch. He turned away from me, guilt plain on his perfect face.

"Sam… what is it?" The worry in my voice was clear.

"I'm so awful, Leah," he told me, the guilt in his equally apparent.

"How are you here, Sam?" I asked, letting reason, not desire, take over my mind for an instant. "I thought you were dead."

"Leah, I wasn't dead. I was never dead." A sardonic smile spread across his lips, so familiar. He reached over and pulled me into his arms, then lifted me onto his lap. He held me there, his face so painfully close to mine. "You, on the other hand, might have been." He pressed his mouth to mine and kissed me.

For half an instant, I was happy. Then the fire came back, the poisoned arrow. It forced its way into my very being, and I was overcome in that moment with desire sharp as a dagger and a throbbing pain just as jagged. I tore my mouth away from his as the burning overcame the want.

"Leah, I love you," he murmured, trying to bring me to him once more.

"I love you, too, Sam," I agreed, tearing my way out of his arms and standing. "But the flames burn hotter than the need." I left him there with a puzzled expression on his wonderful face.

I ran to my house, heart thudding in my ears. "Leah," my mother began as I raced through the door. I completely ignored her and moved on into my room.

I collapsed again on my bed, feeling as torn as I had been on that first day when I heard that Sam was gone. Tears overcame me once more.

* * *

_**A.N. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so SORRY! I did not… I had no idea… I didn't realize how close to Twilight this was turning out. I really intended no relation – I needed… sorry. I'll… I'll fix it, I'll distance it, I'm sorry…**_

_**Wow, this is about to get really hectic! My schedule, I mean, not the story plot. I'm on vacation, and I'm still working on three stories at once now, "Born in Shadows," this one, and a few others that have yet to be released. Also, I'm doing regular updates on two FictionPress stories. I am so confused. Did I mention that I'm on vacation?**_

_**I promise I'll get a BiS release out soon. That story is rather hard to write – I don't know exactly where I'm going with it. Yippee!**_

_**Yes, this was a short chapter. It was a bridge. Some stuff is about to start happening – convenient plot twists, all that nonsense. Here we go! Step onto the ride. **_

_**And I sincerely apologize for not updating recently. **_


	12. The Flickering Flames 10

**Disclaimer: Look it up.**

* * *

**Chapter 10  
The Flickering Flames**

* * *

Midnight found me sitting in bed hugging my pillow, teeth not brushed, still wearing clothes, not yet dry from cliff diving. My face was tear-streaked and my heart was torn into tiny bite-sized pieces.

A tree brushed loudly against my window. I rolled over restlessly, grasping the pillow as if it was the only thing anchoring me to the earth.

A soft knock against the window-frame distracted me from my despair. I stood with a start and walked over to it, warily glancing outside before opening it and whispering, "Hello?"

"Leah?" a husky voice inquired.

"Yeah," I replied, my voice just as soft. I backed up as he swung his leg over the frame and entered my bedroom. He took me into his arms swiftly and I drank in his scent. "But… how did you get here, Sam?"

"Climbed," was his retort. Into a second story window? He brought my attentions away from that as he hugged me tighter, as closely as our clothes would allow.

With a start, I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt. I was musing on this finding when his lips suddenly connected with mine. I responded happily. The burning was still present, but it had dulled, become merely an ever-present flickering flame beaten back by my intense desire.

"Sam, what are you doing here?" I questioned as we parted. I sat down on my bed and he joined me easily, lightly, not making a sound.

"You made me a promise, before I… left," he answered. When I didn't react, he continued, "You said that you'd marry me, Leah, in case you've forgotten."

"I know, Sam," I sighed. "But I can't. We're so young, Sam… and I'm afraid that it just wouldn't work. You still haven't answered my question."

"I actually have," he laughed, rolling off the bed gracefully and posing on one knee. I took in a quick breath. "Leah Clearwater, you are the most important thing in my life. I love you more than my own soul. I need you, Leah." He paused momentarily, grabbing my hand. "Leah, beloved, will you… will you marry me?"

The last sentence floated through the air and I could have sworn I was imagining it. I forced another wave of air into my lungs and looked at the open ring box.

The band of silver was beautiful, yet unconventional. A howling wolf with sapphire eyes opened its mouth to reveal a diamond the size of a pea. "Amazing," I murmured, momentarily distracted. He slipped it onto my finger and looked into my eyes pleadingly.

Without a thought, without a care of how we could pull this off, I gave him my answer.

"Yes."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me with a fiery passion, abandoning all pretense of calm. I was suddenly grateful for his absent shirt as he held me closer than I believed possible. I could feel every inch of his body against mine. I forgot that my heart was ripped apart, I forgot the pain he'd put me through… all I knew was that I wanted him, and he wanted me, too.

The kiss seemed to stretch forever. I didn't want it to end, and neither did he. When it finally did, I felt like bursting once more into tears. His presence was the only thing that held me back on the earth.

"Now, Leah," he said, "I think you'd better get some sleep." He moved toward the window and I cringed.

"Don't go," I begged. A strange, unreadable expression passed over his face, and then he turned back toward my bed, still made up. "We are engaged, Sam," I continued, even though I knew that I was winning.

"That we are, dearest," he agreed. The endearment fell from his lips like a jewel. He pulled down the covers hastily and gestured for me to get in. I smiled sarcastically and lay down.

He did the same beside me, holding me in his arms as we both faded away into the dark realms of sleep.

When the morning came, Sam was still there. That was a surprise in itself. His head was resting on my shoulder, his black hair, shorter than I remembered, spread out wide. I turned my face toward his. He opened his eyes drowsily and gazed into mine with such amazing love that in that instant, I knew we were meant to be together forever.

He yawned softly and stood. I followed him reluctantly.

"I'd better leave," he told me quickly, saying just what I'd feared.

"I know," I sighed. He planted a quick kiss on my cheek and jumped easily out the window. I rushed over and peered out to see him land effortlessly on the ground with a loud thump. I could feel my eyes bugging out. I heard the ghost of a laugh as he sprinted away.

I exhaled as I flopped back onto the bed. The night before had been the best one of my life. Would all the subsequent ones be the same?

I rose again and walked out the door. I closed it behind me with a soft click and made my way to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and getting ready for the day, I rushed downstairs to eat breakfast.

As I gorged myself on cereal and milk, my mother came over to the table and sat down.

"Leah Clearwater. What was the story last night?" she demanded, voice harsh.

"Sorry, Mom," I groaned. "But Sam came back in town, and it was just so hard for me… to adjust to him being back, you know?"

"Sure," she said doubtfully. Instead of pressing me for information, she changed the subject. "Your cousin sent you a letter."

I brightened immediately, just as she knew I would. "Emily?"

A smile spread across her face. "Yes." She grabbed something from under the table and passed it to me. It was neatly addressed to Miss Leah Clearwater. I snatched it from her and half-ran upstairs to sit down at my desk while I read it.

After opening it messily, I hurriedly scanned Emily's words.

_Dear Leah, _

_Hello from the Makah Reservation! It's all good here, but I'm very lonely… how are you down there? I heard about your Sam. Are you okay?_

Please send me a letter. Out here, I am all alone.

_Hugs,_

_Emily_

I could feel the wide grin that I wore after reading the end of the letter. Emily was my second-best friend, under Emma… and now Emma wasn't my friend at all.

I dug around for a sheet of paper and a pen, then started writing the reply.

_Dear Emily,_

_I am so glad to talk to you! I have missed you so much! Please, Emily, come to visit me! I'm lonely, too. _

_I'm fine, thanks. Sam was gone for so long… I thought he was dead. I practically died along with him! But the other day, as I was crying on his doorstep (don't ask!), he just walked straight out of his house and took me in his arms! He's back, Emily! I'm alive again!_

_Please do come visit. My friend, Emma, is unavailable right now – _

I smiled wryly as I penned the words. "Unavailable" was not exactly the right word to describe my situation with Emma.

_My best friend, Emma is unavailable right now, and I have some stories to tell that are not exactly the kind to be phrased with the written word. Don't leave me here alone! I urge you to return! Pretty please with sugar on top? _

_Your friend,_

_Leah_

I took the letter and stuffed it in a spare envelope, wrote Emily's address on it, and brought it downstairs to my mother. I told her to send it to Emily and went back upstairs.

I resumed my familiar task of doodling my name and Sam's in little hearts on a page. I could happily write _Mrs. Leah Uley _now, knowing that my dream might actually come true. Marrying Sam!

Just about then, the telephone rang. It was Sam, the one and only.

"Leah," he began. My heart sang at the sound of his voice.

"Sam," I replied.

"I love you," was his simple statement. I heard a soft click as his end hung up. I moved the phone away from my ear and hung up, too.

"I love you, too, Sam," I whispered to myself. "I love you, too."

**_A.N. - I don't have much time to write... just wanted to let you know that later today I will release this chapter from Sam's perspective as a oneshot called "The Fire Within" that covers his change and coming back from it._**

**_Hugs,  
Deineira_**


	13. Another Author's Note

I'm very sorry to be posting another A.N. I'm just having some trouble with my writing and am also participating actively in FictionPress...

You see, there's some stuff I'd like to **rewrite **in this story, and I think I'm going to do just that. From now on I am just going to go back and review then see if I can eliminate my block. That means that the story may be changing a little... I'll post an update message with every change.

Thanks,

Dein


	14. How many AN's is this so far, exactly?

Dear readers,

You remember that note I posted about editing? Yeah, well, I meant it. TFF is undergoing intense edits, and, instead of just posting it hot off the press like I did this time, I'm keeping it and reediting until it's absolutely perfect and just the way I want it.

The first edition was:  
- confusing  
- Twilight-esque  
- mildly nonsensical

The second edition will be:  
- better  
- independent  
- understandable

Of course, I don't mean, by that, that I am not proud of my old version; I just think it could be better.

I'm really busy, right now, with another novel independent of the realms of fanfiction, so the editing will most certainly take a while. However, when it's done, the final product will surely be much... how to say this?... _better._

Thanks for reading,

Deineira


	15. THE LAST AN READ ME!

Kay, guys, I'm so sorry. It's been like a whole year since I last updated. Pretty sad, actually.

I'm thinking about getting back to it. What do you think? I started rewriting the first bits, but I don't know if I should. Would that be ridiculous, or what? Should I just continue where I left off? Let me know, please! Just tell me in a review or PM, whatever. I want to hear from you. I need your opinions. I'm not going to let this story die out again, but I must know what you think!

Sorry for the absence,

Deineira


	16. DECISION TIME HELP ME!

Alright you guys, this one is important!

I know that I've published about 5000 author's notes to this story, but this is a really important one because it determines where this is going. Am I going to stop writing? Am I going to backtrack and do it again? It's up to you guys. I have been in absentia for several years now and I'm finally ready to come back and do some writing. I miss you guys! If you're still around, please give me your opinion.

I will continue work on this story if I receive **seven reviews **to this chapter indicating that I should do so/that you have enjoyed it. If I do not receive these seven reviews, I will stop writing on this story, archive it, and start work on something else. If you ever read this story or even remotely enjoyed it, please drop me a review and tell me what you think I should do, because frankly, I can't decide.

Thanks guys! Love you! Good to be back!

Deineira


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